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the chain on my mood swing just snapped

the only reason i'm fat

sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a stroll

rules when i first wake up

watch out i'm having one of those days

half of us are going to come out of this quarantine

not all angels have wings some have stethoscopes

if i offend you cry me a river

i suffer from that disorder where i speak the truth and y'all get offended

never pick a fight with a woman older than 40

if i say first of all

not in jail not in a hospital not in a grave

god found some of the most beautiful angels and made them caregivers

quarantinin' and chillin with my gnomies

i can be mean af sweet as candy cold as water evil as hell or loyal like a soldier

if you think i'm short you should see my patience

9 of 10 voices in my head tell me i'm crazy one just hums

if god give us what he think we can handle he must think i'm a badass

the best medicine in the world is a grandchild's kiss

i was told to check my attitude

if you don't have anything nice to say

i'm just waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its power for good or evil today

two things last forever my tattoos and the love i have for my children

my niece is brilliant and beautiful and obviously takes after her aunt

if you keep a glass of wine in each hand you can't touch your face

i'm at the age where my brain goes from you probably shouldn't say that to what the hell let's see what happens

not to brag or anything but i can forget what i'm doing while i'm doing it

i used to have winter fat now i have spring rolls

tough enough to be a frontline warrior crazy enough to love it

my sister is a huge pain in the ass

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