How to Be an Adult in Relationships; The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

David Richo explains, “Most people think of love as a feeling, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In How to Be an Adult in Relationships, Richo offers a new perspective on love and relationships, one that shifts the focus away from searching for the perfect partner and toward becoming a more loving, authentic person. Drawing on Buddhist mindfulness principles, this book explores five key traits of mindful loving and their vital role in shaping our relationships throughout life:

• Attention to the present moment: Observing, listening, and noticing all the emotions involved in our relationships.
• Acceptance: Embracing ourselves and others as we are, without judgment.
• Appreciation: Recognizing and valuing our gifts, limits, desires, and the complexities of being human.
• Affection: Expressing care through gentle, respectful physical touch.
• Allowing life and love to unfold naturally: Accepting both the joys and pains of love without trying to control them.

When deeply understood and practiced, these five principles—the "five A’s"—serve as the foundation for mature, mindful love. They help us move away from judgment, fear, and blame toward openness, compassion, and a realistic approach to relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships deepen, becoming a space for personal growth and transformation.