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i only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do tee

fartled to be suddenly startled disturbed or agitated by loud fart tee

i want to be full of christ that if tee

if we're in a don't laugh situation tee

retired and rebuilt tee

to do list 1 drink coffee 2 avoid slapping stupid people 3 repeat steps 1 & 2 tee

it's not a dad bod it's a father figure tee

pawpa man who proudly claims his children's dog as his granddogs tee

every thanksgiving i give my family the bird tee

would you look at that my last flying f* tee

friend vs best friend tee

i'm not afraid of you i have a daughter tee

dad tax dad taks noun portion of an item a dad tee

i'm not mean i'm just too old to pretend i like you tee

even from all the way over here tee

if you can't be a good example be a warning tee

oh look my wife's last nerve i want to touch it tee

it's all s-its & giggles until someone giggles & s-its tee

don't underestimate me i know more than tee

she say i don't listen or something like that tee

i remember being able to get up without making sound effects good times tee

please don't be an a* to me cause then tee

if you can't say anything nice about somebody cone site tee

please don't be an a* to me because then tee

a little gray hair is a small price to pay for this much wisdom tee

hmm instead of have a nice day tee

spoiler alert there are a@# holes everywhere tee

the stuff you heard about me is a lie i'm way worse tee

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